“Date Night” – sounds dreadful, doesn’t it? A bit like the title of a really bad Horror Movie – and believe me, that’s just the way I felt about it too. Date Night is a notion we developed to help us fall in love again and save our marriage and it was an idea that had its Birth in an ebook called the Magic of Making Up.
Granted, we were a bit farther down the path of reconciliation than you might be right now. We were still officially separated and living in different houses but we had (after me following all the recommended initial contact steps) come to the point where we had recovered a delicate friendship – and we’d both made the admission that we wanted to be together again. But we needed to fall back in love first.
And so, after slightly revising some of the initial concepts to suit our situation, I came up with Date Night. And yes, my ex was as appalled by the idea at first as I was. Organised, planned dating sounds as fun as set activities on summer vacations, like following a tour guide with one of those little flags.
My plan was, once a fortnight at first, and later every week, and in the end every Friday night, we’d go out on a date. Just like we used to when we were courting when we first met. It didn’t have to be a fancy expensive dinner, but it also wasn’t allowed to be a cheapo meal at a place where we’d been a hundred times. The idea was to make the situation, the setting, different enough and unusual enough to make us concentrate on us. And movies were out – simply because we wanted to talk, not sit and watch a screen.
And as I’m sure you’ll know, something magic happened. We both found ourselves beginning to look forward to Date Night. We took it in turns to choose what we’d be doing each week and I found (and my partner did too) that I was starting to think about Date Night all the time. I found myself planning an event way in advance that I just knew he’d love, just to get that buzz when I’d see how much he was enjoying Himself. Enjoying himself with me – again.
We did some interesting things – dinners in new restaurants, planned picnics by the harbour, mini golf(!), art galleries – we even climbed over the fence of the Botanic Gardens at about 11pm and strolled around in the moonlight, just us. We felt like kids again, carefree and just having fun, and that created a space where our love began to grow again.
Now, a year later we’re happily in love and living together as husband and wife again. And we still do Date Night – just because it’s fun!
I heartily recommend the concept of Date Night to anyone who feels it might help save their marriage. It’s just one of the many tips and tricks you’ll find in the Magic of Making Up – advice that really works. Give it a try.
