Mothers and daughters, Healing
Recently, my mother was transported to the hospital. She is 89. The doctors thought she had pneumonia, but it turned out she had taken too much of a medication and he came severely dehydrated. I had not seen for about six months. Until then, I had been, or attempted to be the obedient daughter, Compassion, desire make life better – I think in the desperate hope that she finally arrives in the gentle, loving, accepting mother who filled my fantasies. But last July, the tension between us had become so stressful that my health was affected and I decided that I had to make a separation long. It has been difficult. I was not sure I could solve my problems with her before his death. I do not know if I would Never again.
At first when I heard she was in the hospital, I felt little emotion. Sister and brother, who are very supportive of this separation, assured me that I did not see her. They took care of her. But The next afternoon, I found myself driving to the hospital. I was not a decision I consciously made. My car, it seemed, take me there.
I entered his hospital room, his heart pounding. She was asleep and I walked by the foot of his bed, my fingers reached tickle the toes. No response. As I stood beside her, I gently tickled the palm of his hand.
She opened her eyes, concentrated and then he looked at me with disbelief that quickly turned to wonder. "You're here!" She says softly. "Emmy …"
I leaned over and kissed her. Her cheek was soft and warm. I sat beside her and held her hand. Although was "not there" all the time, it has been for much of the time, and his joy at seeing me was beautiful. We chatted and laughed. Then all spontaneously, she announced: "I can not change, you know."
"Yes, I know, I said." But I can change. I work changes in me. "
She nodded and was silent. It was a comfortable silence and, again, spontaneously, she said: "I read what you sent me. "
Recently, I sent him a few pages of my new website, Creative Soul Works. I sent him a picture of me and my dog, Phoebe.
"Do you like them? "I asked, knowing, surprisingly, I would be comfortable, even if it was critical.
She said, "I had to read the pages a few times, and I am not sure I understand everything, but I loved them. "She was quiet again, and after a few moments said:" This spiritual part has always been in you and is not it interesting that it is now out that way. "
Wow It was incredible for her. No critical decision!
Then a chaplain entered the room. He asked if he could sit with us a moment. We said, yes, sure. My mother began to speak, has no apparent meaning, but I knew what she meant. She spoke of a woman where she lives, who held the spiritual gatherings on Friday night and my mother always liked to go. The woman is dying of cancer and my mother misses her.
After some time, the chaplain asked if he could say a prayer. He and I stood by the bed of my mother and held our hands and I held the hand of my mother says a prayer fine and left. It was beautiful, unexpected, mysterious and perfect. I left shortly after feeling content and be safe the daughter of my mother for the first time in a very, very, very long time.
That night I spent time in and out of reflection on sleep and end of life from above. Wednesday I woke up early and went walking with Phoebe along a path in the marsh near us. Was a nice cold morning. Glorious. The sun shone on the thin covering of new ice, the first of the season. I was lost in the beauty of the morning. Nature kissed me. Nature in its barren brown beauty. The trees to the bright blue sky in prayer. Me and my beautiful puppy dog and the marsh ice and the sun and the birds and the thoughts of my mother and the beauty of age and even the majesty of death.
All this in a whirl my mind that Phoebe and I walked through the marsh. And it seemed the trees and the air whispering in my ear poetry. This came to me:
Keepers of the Light
hear my pain.
Keepers of the Dead
soothe my soul.
The marsh is frozen Starfield
December sun.
I fall into the Mystery
where questions are shackles
and the memory of old trees
shines.
When I returned to my car, I knew I had to go see my mother. She was sleeping when I got there, curled up like a baby, blanket white high back around his neck. I sat beside her on the bed and pushed it into standby. She blinked and looked at me absently.
"Who am I?" I asked.
She smiled and said, "Emily". Then he added: "Where did you come?"
"A walking with Phoebe. It is beyond beautiful. "
She drifted back to sleep.
"Wake up", I cried again. "Come." I tickled.
She laughed and opened his eyes.
"Do you still know who I am?" I asked.
"Of course!" She looked at me as if I was crazy.
We talked a little. She rambled. I asked her if she had seen the angels.
She said: "No, but some men where to run all night in the woods thought in Larchmont.
I asked her if she saw my father or his mother?
"They died, "she said.
"I know. But maybe they will come visit if you want. "
She smiled.
Papa can protect you against the men chasing you, "I said.
She drifted back to sleep.
I pushed him again. "I wrote a poem, "I said. "Do you hear?"
"Sure," she said.
"Well, listen …" I read the poem. When I finished, I thought she was asleep. I leaned over and said, "Have you heard the poem? Should I play again?"
"Read it again," she said. She listened in silence for a moment and said: "I understand the poem. I think you are telling me not to have fear of death. "
I smiled. She smiled. "Have you seen the angels?" I asked again.
She sighed. "I 'm asleep. "
I leaned over and kissed her soft skin. "Sleep," I said.
"Are you back?" She asked.
"Yes" I said. "I'll be back."
About the Author
Emily Hanlon is a novelist of seven works of fiction and a book on the creative writing process. Her website creativesoulworks.com, is based on her belief that the multifaceted journey of creativity is not limited to the arts, but nurtures life at the most profound depths, those of the soul journey. Her website thefictionwritersjourney.com explores writing through her dual pronged teaching technique.
Take Me Away – Avril Lavinge (Claire and HRG)
|
|
Farmer’s Daughter $8.26 1. Ridin With The Radio2. For What It’s Worth3. Farmer’s Daughter (Clean Version)4. Holy Toledo5. Lonely Won’t Come Around6. Hold On7. On The Run8. Kiss Ya9. Speak Now10. Mine All Mine11. Mason12. Arlene… |
|
|
Tamia: Between Friends $1.88 Tamia is one of the world’s most loved R&B singers with a career highlighted by two certified gold albums, has arrived with her a new studio album and fourth release featuring a mixture of club tracks, duets and mainstream R&B songs produced by proven hitmakers Rodney Jerkins and Shep Crawford. Four time Grammy Nominee and Winner of the Best Vocal Performance Award, Tamia’s long awaited follow-up… |
|
|
A Casual Affair: The Best of Tonic (Deluxe Edition CD/DVD) $24.99 Deluxe edition features bonus DVD with 5 music videos! After TONIC scored a platinum album, a pair of Grammy nominations and several hit singles – including “If You Could Only See,” the most-played rock radio song of 1997 – the Modern Rockers went on hiatus in 2004. This summer, however, TONIC returns, first with a tour and then this fall with its first new album in seven years. In anticipation, t… |
|
|
Wallmonkeys Peel and Stick Wall Decals – Relationship – Removable Graphic WallMonkeys wall graphics are printed on the highest quality re-positionable, self-adhesive fabric paper. Each order is printed in-house and on-demand. WallMonkeys uses premium materials & state-of-the-art production technologies. Our white fabric material is superior to vinyl decals. You can literally see and feel the difference. Our wall graphics apply in minutes and won’t damage your paint or l… |
|
|
Wallmonkeys Peel and Stick Wall Decals – Mother & Daughter – Removable Graphic WallMonkeys wall graphics are printed on the highest quality re-positionable, self-adhesive fabric paper. Each order is printed in-house and on-demand. WallMonkeys uses premium materials & state-of-the-art production technologies. Our white fabric material is superior to vinyl decals. You can literally see and feel the difference. Our wall graphics apply in minutes and won’t damage your paint or l… |
|
|
Wallmonkeys Peel and Stick Wall Decals – Daughter Hugging Mother – Removable Graphic WallMonkeys wall graphics are printed on the highest quality re-positionable, self-adhesive fabric paper. Each order is printed in-house and on-demand. WallMonkeys uses premium materials & state-of-the-art production technologies. Our white fabric material is superior to vinyl decals. You can literally see and feel the difference. Our wall graphics apply in minutes and won’t damage your paint or l… |
|
|
Will I Ever Be Good Enough? (Paperback) $10.1 A resource for daughters of mothers with narcissistic personality disorder explains how to manage feelings of inadequacy and abandonment in the face of inappropriate maternal expectations and conditional love, in a step-by-step guide that shares recomm… |
|
|
Dirty Secret A Daughter Comes Clean Abou (Paperback) $10.1 A fascinating look at compulsive hoarding by a woman whose mother suffers from the disease. |
|
|
My Mother/My Self (Paperback) $12.38 When Nancy Friday began her research for My Mother/My Self in the early 1970`s no work existed that explored the unique interaction between mother and daughter. Today psychotherapists throughout the world acknowledge that if women are to be able to lo… |
|
|
Why a Daughter Needs a Dad Coupons (Paperback) $5.93 Inspired by Greg Lang`s New York Times bestselling book, this perfect gift for dad is sure to be a home run. With heartwarming text and timeless photographs, Why a Daughter Needs a Dad Coupons will bring fathers and daughters toget… |
|
|
Why a Daughter Needs a Mom $10.8 This inspirational book for moms celebrates not only the lifelong bond that exists between mothers and daughters, but also the fact that a mother is the ultimate role model for the type of woman her daughter will be as an adult. Illustrated with photog… |
|
|
Why a Daughter Needs a Dad (Hardcover) $10.07 The first book in the Family Matters series, Why a Daughter Needs a Dad celebrates the love fathers have for their daughters, inspiring them to embrace the important role they hold in their daughters` lives and to provide the lo… |
